Important estate planning conversations retirees need to have with their adult children

Discuss the location of important documents, contact information, and access instructions:

• Documents such as the most recent will(s), trust(s), powers of attorney, health care directives, etc.
• Records such as birth and marriage certificates, Social Security cards, licenses, passports, titles, proofs of ownership, religious records, etc.
• Names and contact information for financial providers, doctors, lawyers, accountants, friends, and family members who might need to be contacted.
• List of social media accounts and other online accounts, along with usernames and passwords—preferably in a secure location and/or accessible via a password protected file.

Once organized, make sure your children know where and how to locate and access these records. Our Family Records Worksheet (PDF) can help you get started.

Your living arrangements. Share how long you plan or hope to live in your current home and the housing options you’d consider if your situation changes. Share your concerns and preferences here, and encourage your children to weigh in as well.

Your will and/or trusts. Make sure you have an up-to-date will and that you’ve reviewed it within the last several years to account for any changes to your family situation or wishes. If you have any trusts, determine whether they still meet your needs by talking with an attorney.

Durable power of attorney. This document enables you to give a specified person the authority to make financial decisions on your behalf if you’re incapacitated. It’s often a good idea to add powers of attorney to your investment accounts as well. You may also want to select a “trusted contact” for your investment accounts as an added level of account protection. A trusted contact is an individual you designate who can be contacted by the financial firm if something seems amiss.

Health care directive. Also known as an advance directive, this document covers two important aspects of your medical care: a living will and a medical power of attorney. A living will provides specific end-of-life instructions for the type of medical care you desire. A medical power of attorney, also known as a durable power of attorney for health care or a health care proxy, enables you to name a person to make medical decisions for you if you are unable to do so.

Long-term care arrangements. Long-term adult day or nursing care can be expensive. In 2024, national average costs ranged from $2,167 per month for adult day health care to $10,646 per month for a private room in a skilled nursing facility.** Costs could be considerably higher depending on where you live. Your children should know your health care preferences and how you plan to pay for care if necessary (e.g., insurance or investments). They especially need to know if you’re counting on them for financial or physical support.

Financial information and decisions. Review your financial situation with your children to identify strategies for making the most of your money. For example, understanding each other’s financial priorities and tax situations can help you make more informed decisions. It may make sense to adjust your retirement income sourcing, your gifting strategy, or which accounts you leave to whom. The better you understand each other, the better equipped you’ll be to put in place a plan that benefits both generations.

It's important to remember that you don’t have to solve everything in one sitting. These conversations may be very new and different for all of you—both financially and emotionally. Taking the time to start the conversation and establish lines of open and honest communication will ultimately provide greater peace of mind for everyone.